We all want our loved ones to be safe as they age, especially if they live alone and are physically or mentally challenged in any way, but even if they are just aging and not as capable as they once were, there is cause for concern.
At the same time, we want to respect their independence and their wishes, which can run counter to ensuring safety. It’s a fine line that needs to be tread carefully.
What comes first? Their independence or their safety? Both have to be balanced, which can be easy to believe and harder to put into practice.
While our loved ones no doubt appreciate our concerns for their well-being, our attempts to ensure their safety can threaten their autonomy and what they consider their well-being. How many times have you heard, “I want to stay right where I am. I’m not ready to move.”
My mother was skillful at this dodge. “Yes, you’re right, honey, I should get a smaller home. I don’t really want to take care of this big house anymore. Let’s think about it after the holidays.”
She just kept putting it off with one excuse after another. There were many holidays—until she fell. At the hospital, she didn’t remember anything.
My mother was seriously opposed to having anyone in her home to help, and very frustrated that she no longer had the independence of driving. We convinced her an assistant would also be a chauffeur, and she could be driven anywhere she wanted. It conjured up images of Driving Miss Daisy, which she loved.
Helping Parents Stay at Home
If family is nearby, they can help with the caregiving by taking turns cooking, cleaning and caring.
If family isn’t available, you can employ professional caregivers skilled and trained to work with the elderly. They can provide companionship, take walks with your loved one, drive, run errands and cook. They also can help with dressing and bathing.
To make a house more elder-safe, consider fall-proofing it. Create clear walking paths. Remove anything that could cause tripping or slipping. Arrange all furniture so there is plenty of room to walk freely. Make sure the house is well lit. Since eyesight diminishes with age, it’s important to make sure the living space has ample light.
Contact Certified Dementia Practitioner Amanda Butas, your Mesa client care manager, at (480) 699-4899. You also can visit our office next to Bed Bath and Beyond, located on Power and McKellips roads, at 2031 N. Power Road, Suite 103.