It was on Sept. 23 when I received the phone call from my eldest brother that I had been hoping to receive for almost a year—Dad had passed at the age of 84.
About two years ago, my dad had succumbed to the creepy disease of Alzheimer’s, and we had to take him to a resident home more suitable to help him with his needs. This disease slowly sucks the life out of you until there is no awareness of life or existence. After visiting my dad this past May, in New York, I could only begin to hope on a daily basis that he would give in and move forward to whatever the next stage of existence might be. I can only be sure of the fact it was time for him to no longer be here on this earth.
It is all about just that, our time here. My dad was a simple man. His purpose here was being a Catholic, being Irish, and most importantly, being a family man. Although some may say he was stern and not the most open man, he was a great man. He was not perfect and had flaws. He received a lot of love and forgiveness from his two incredible marriages. His first wife, Patricia Clare, passed when I was 5 years old. Ironically, Patricia Ann, was married to my dad for more than 40 years. I guess it was simpler to marry another Patricia. I, however, am not so simple.
Additionally, he raised five boys, accomplished 30 years of coaching little league baseball, made sure we all had a station wagon in which to be driven around, helped with the newspaper deliveries, pulled the pop-up camper, tried the boat scene, did all the home improvements around the house himself, and much, much more—an endless list after 84 years. He was there for all.
Oftentimes, we all get so wrapped up in what we are doing, and we forget how precious and short life can be. We forget the importance of our spouses, our children and our family, which may not live close by.
It took my dad’s passing and the gathering of our entire family back in New York to awaken me as to the importance of family, and reflect on my life to see how important family was to my dad. Yes, I am Irish, and, yes, I am Catholic (at least I think I am), but most importantly, I am a family man like my dad. I only hope I can raise my three boys as well as he has raised his five.
So, I encourage all to cherish your spouses, your children and enjoy family as much as possible. The simple things in life can bring so much joy to all, especially with the holidays upon us.
Simply, being there.
My dad gave me the greatest gift. With his passing, he brought the entire family from California, Arizona, North Carolina, New Hampshire and New York, including nine grandchildren, all back to New York, to celebrate his life.
He gave me the gift of family.
Perhaps we don’t always have to wait for someone’s passing to get the family together, I know I won’t.
Please join me in toasting a man who earned the love of his family yet, never asked for it.
Daniel Joseph O’Neill—Jan. 1, 1929 to Sept. 23, 2013
Cheers Danny Boy!
Erin go bragh.