The holidays are fast approaching along with all the good times that are characteristic of them. However, this experience of the holidays is not shared by all as they can serve as rude reminders for some. The good news is we don’t have to let these difficulties be the only color of our holiday experience.
As a clinical mental health counselor, I often tell my clients two things that can bring us great joy regardless of our other struggles — acts of service and gratitude. That is not to say that these strategies will eliminate the weight of our struggles, but they do make them easier to bear. Think of it like lifting weights. The pain of the muscle rebuilding the next day or two is always there, but we still enjoy the taste of our favorite drinks and food. We can still feel joy amidst the pain.
ACTS OF SERVICE
Our struggles in life tend to drive our focus inward on ourselves, which is understandable. The need to overcome our struggles oftentimes requires so much continual effort, that our focus naturally moves toward ourselves. But there is a flip side to this. It often exacerbates loneliness, weaknesses, anxiety, and depression.
Doing something kind for others, either a favor or a thoughtful gift, gets our focus off of our own emotional state. Doing this turns our focus towards others’ happiness, which has a boomerang effect on our own.
GRATITUDE
No matter what we struggle with, building our gratitude for things we have can sustain us. I recommend building lists of things for which we are grateful, and then reviewing the list as often as we can. The next time we feel pain and heartache, that list can be pulled out to review. But it’s more than just having the list; it’s also about a concerted effort to emotionally build that emotional gratitude within ourselves, which will increase joy.
COMBINE THEM
A fun act of service we can do for family members is to build a list of reasons for which we are grateful for them, and then giving it to them as a Christmas gift. This is one of the most powerful things we can do to enrich our relationships and make our holiday experiences more joyful by focusing on others. And that is ultimately what these holidays are about.
I wish everyone a very Happy Holidays.
Kevin Glen, LPC, Scenario Counseling is located at 2929 N. Power Road, Suite 101, in Mesa. Kevin can be reached at (480) 204-7147 or by email at kevin@scenariocounseling.com.